Information collaboration (ha, rhyme)

31 Oct
2009

Wikipedia is an extremely epic source of information. In fact, whenever most people want to know about something, they use Wikipedia. What most of them seem to disregard is the fact that it can be used for lulzing around, since it is publicly editable. Not many jackasses decide to screw around with it, but it does happen at times.

I decided, this afternoon, to be such a jackass. Simple Wikipedia is a project that was started to explain things in “simple English”, whatever fuck that means. Things like “simple English” piss me off, because it’s a language; a whole language that you either know, or don’t know. Simplifying it won’t help you in the least bit, especially if you’re too retarded to know the language in the first place. Which means bullshit like Simple Wikipedia are a disgrace not only to language, but also an insult to human intelligence (”human intelligence” is actually starting to become an oxymoron).

What do I do when I’m pissed at something? Mess with it, that’s what. Simple Wikipedia’s enlightening article on Quantum mechanics just blew my threshold, so I decided, “Well, since it’s supposed to be simple, the proof of its simplicity needs to be cited, does it not?” after looking at the sentence “The main things studied are called subatomic particles and electromagnetic waves. Quantum mechanics uses mathematics, much of it is very hard mathematics. QM is important to physics and chemistry.”.

I have very wittily edited one of the sections, which was hilarious at the time to many people, but has probably lost its humorous attributes by now. I’m sure it’ll be edited back to its original state very soon, so I will supply all of you with a screenshot of my brilliant handiwork.

This teaches everyone something. People are so retarded that equally retarded projects need to be started to feed their retardation. Which I find deplorable, considering that the only thing setting you apart from an earthworm is cognitive ability. If you misuse that and decide to act like an idiot, you’d rather be an earthworm.

Such things need to be killed with fire, propane and sheer hatred.

Remapping capslock

30 Oct
2009

I’m sure most of you actually know how to remap keys to different keysyms, but I will post a tutorial of how to remap capslock to escape, or any other key just to spite all those who use capslock, since they either need to stop or kill themselves.

xmodmap is a really useful little app which makes keyboards lots of fun. When you run xev and press your capslock button, you will notice that the key is called “Caps_Lock”. You can press a bunch of other keys for the lulz of it, or figure out their names so you can remap capslock to that certain key. After you play around with xev, and preferably read xmodmap’s manpage, do the following:

  1. Open ~/.Xmodmap in vim. Yes, vim.
  2. Then add the following lines to it:
remove Lock = Caps_Lock
keysym Caps_Lock = <Label of key you want to remap it to>

Or in this case,

keysym Caps_Lock = Escape

3.  Run

xmodmap ~/.Xmodmap

And behold a remapped capslock.

I will remind everyone once more that using capslock is a sin punishable by ridicule, castration, and being put in the same room with ChanServ. All alone.

Kanye friggin’ West

25 Oct
2009

So Kanye West has done lots of interesting things lately, as it seems. He has effectively shown off how much of a drunk dumbass he is, but didn’t we know this already? But DEAR GOD LOOK WHAT HE HAS DONE NOW! He offended the wet dream of every 13-16 year old boy and the fantasy of every girl in the same age group that listens to horrible American music! KILL HIM.

Okay, West is a douchebag, his music is terrible, he can’t sing, and he’s the most stuck-up little motherfucker I’ve seen throw his shit around on any show, ever. Yet I like him. Why? Because he’s badass, that’s why. Well, not really, but he’s a hell lot more badass than Taylor Swift is, which isn’t really saying much because Swift’s badass rank is in the negatives. You’re obviously trying to ask me something along the lines of, “but \man, HOW is he badass?”, which, under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t know you were asking me, but let me answer it. Let’s bullet this shit:

  • He spawned the most badass meme this quarter, probably.
  • The words he said on stage were probably the most badass thing any drunk celebrity will ever say.
  • Yo 50 cent, I’m really happy for you, and I’mma let you finish, but West is one of the most obnoxious, self-obsessed celebrities of all time. OF ALL TIME.

Now, where is poor old Taylor Swift in all this? Oh yes, she’s out there writing songs that reinforce the fantasy of every Twilight lover out there. As to the award, isn’t the girl-next-door scenario a bit, um, I don’t know, cliche? Like, seriously cliche? Cliche enough to have been used in songs around 2312389 times (which, surprisingly, is probably a value higher than the number of songs actually in existence, which tells you how cliche it actually is)? I have nothing against her except the fact that the lyrics she writes are just… terrible. She’s hot, she sings okay, but AAAA THOSE LYRICS. As if country music wasn’t fucked up enough as it is! Ha!

I’m sorry if that offends anyone, because I really couldn’t give a shit less. I tend to hate every teenage actress Disney has pushed out, and for a good reason. They all tend to be retarded.

Kanye West > Taylor Swift

Interesting things

25 Oct
2009

They have occurred in the period of time I have spent not paying attention to my blog. I have also started using the internets less often (gasp) and joined Facebook, which pretty efficiently sums up the atrocities I have committed in my absence.

Things have been rather chipper lately. School’s less boring for some reason, and I’ve started to hate the arbitrary work I’m given less, which probably means things are improving with everyone else. Facebook has kept me occupied for some extremely inexplicable reason, but I swear, I’ll stop using it now. Apart from that, I have done fun things like lose in the semi-finals of a national badminton tournament, get cast as Mark Antony in Julius Caesar, et cetera et cetera; just the usual boring shit.

Sapphire has made exactly 0 progress, and that’s because I can’t be arsed coding it at the moment. The most interesting thing, however, is my parents agreeing to buy me a new computer. I know this makes me look pathetically financially dependent, but hey, I’m 14. Oh, that reminds me, I turned 14 a while back, which marks me moving 1 year closer to my death.

Why do you think I thought you cared? Because this blog was stagnating and I just wanted to post something nonsensical and relatively useless. Mind you, when I say I have done absolutely nothing productive in the month of October, I mean it.

I’ll go back to watching some random movie now, since I’m the most unproductive little bastard to walk the Earth.

Obama. Nobel Peace Prize. WHAT.

9 Oct
2009

I wanted to make the title the most terrible pun of all time, but I couldn’t bring myself to such silliness. I’m sure lots of uninitiated, self-absorbed people have dubbed this as “silly”, but honestly, isn’t it better than Bush winning the Nobel Peace Prize? If that were to happen, either the Nobel community would have to kill itself due to shame, or this world would be devoid of any hope whatsoever.

To answer the question you’re so repeatedly asking me even though I can’t hear you, since this is a written document – no, I don’t think he really deserves it, but I can see the rationale behind giving him the Peace prize. I will keep this whole thing very short, and list my reasons:

1) He’s trying to stop Israel and Palestine from continuing to fuck themselves over.
2) Although he’ll probably fail, he’s trying to stop most people from continuing to believe that Muslims == Terrorists.
3) He’s the President of the USA, so he’ll probably end up accomplishing what he’s trying to, except for point number 2.
4) He won the Nobel Peace Prize!
5) When nuclear arms are considered to be an extension of a country’s penis, he’s reducing the USA’s, which I find commendable.
6) There are way more points, but I’m too lazy to type them out.

Sure, Clinton and Bush were also involved with foreign affairs, but nothing awesome really happened in Bush’s administration, did it?

I just had to say something about this, even though it probably isn’t very accurate. You can go back to your pathetic life now; thanks for reading.

Tech support

1 Oct
2009

I’ve never had good experiences with tech support. In fact, most of them have ended with me severely damaging the phone I was using to talk to someone from tech support. I don’t completely blame them, because they deal with a hell lot of idiocy all day long, and someone with a tech support job requires an uncanny amount of patience to do stuff well. Usually, anyone I call at my ISP (my ISP is the only reason I even need tech support, usually) assumes I’m either completely retarded, or don’t know what I’m talking about; either way, they convince me there’s nothing wrong with my connection, when there clearly is. I have to then wait for another couple of hours for the connection to fix itself.

This time, though, I wasn’t too lucky. My ISP recently merged with another one, and they’re doing a lot of account migration, which somehow is resulting in lots of editing of existing accounts. My download speed was throttled to 32 kbps. I waited for a couple of days for it to fix itself, but nothing worked. I kept calling my ISP’s tech support, yet nobody would answer. Ten minutes back, somebody did.

I told him I was being throttled, and the conversation was short. “Is your modem on?” “Yes.” “Turn it off, and please hold.” “Alright” — I rebooted the router, and it BLOODY WORKED. I was literally dancing when it did, because 2 days with sub-dialup speed isn’t something I’d like again in my life.

Anyways, everything is back to working state, I’m back on the internets and very happy. I know he isn’t reading this, but I just want to say to the tech support guy: I love you. Well, not really, but you get the point.

EDIT: Disregard a few comments, my ISP still sucks so much it makes me want to kill people.

Operating systems aren’t religions

18 Sep
2009

And it is extremely deplorable when people try to make them religions. We so often see people trying to “convert” others to Linux. It doesn’t make you seem loyal to your OS, it just makes you look mentally challenged.

Operating systems are tools, not philosophies or cults. They make your computer run and do things, that’s pretty much it. Most people are happy when they achieve the “omg my computer runs with this shit!” grade, so stop trying to make me use NetBSD, for pity’s sake.

I use a range of OS’s because I enjoy noting and taking advantage of differences between one OS and another. I haven’t, however, asked anyone to switch OS’s because “it’s just better”. I like everything, and the only OS I hate with a burning passion is Windows ME. I heart all others.

<offtopic> Another thing I see very frequently is users acting like FOSS applications are the boon from God. Sure, they’re awesome, and I respect the person that decided to give out their hard work for free, but I also know that some of said work is complete bullshit. The GIMP, for instance. Yes, it’s awesome and all, but it can never come close to Photoshop for me, and I hate it. You can love it all you want, but I’m going to avoid it like the plague. It’s unintuitive, spawns 90103832384 windows, and it’s just a general pain to do stuff with. I do think it’s a good app, but just not something I want.

OpenOffice is another example. They’ve worked so hard to make everything look like MS Office, that they’ve ruined everything. MS Office is probably one of the best things that Microsoft birthed. It works fine, and I use it only for *shudder* Powerpoint when I absolutely have to; Word is epic, nothing else needs to be said. No, Office isn’t there for Linux, but I don’t do much of the work it’s meant for, so who cares? I use LaTeX for typesetting my text documents, so formatting isn’t much of a problem. </offtopic>

^ why did I say that? Because I felt like it. I tend to cram a lot of off-topic bullshit into a completely irrelevant topic, I’m bored, felt like blogging, and it was convenient, really.

Seriously, though, coming back to my point. I’m tired of people acting like the stuff they use is a religion, I’m also tired of people trying to convince others that said stuff is the best. Suggest the things you use to people, and then let them decide what’s good. Nobody likes imposing little assholes, so don’t be one. Not only do you completely demean yourself when you act this way, you also implicitly, or even unknowingly insult the person you’re trying to convince something to. I will say this again: people only use what is convenient for them, not what’s convenient for you.

BSD and Linux are two OS’s with a painful amount of zealots, to the point where it’s all way too much to handle. People cannot stand the fact that someone considers their OS inferior. Sometimes, they both want people to use their stuff, and yet insult them when they lack sufficient knowledge. Well, douchebag, the poor kid asked you because he didn’t know. Don’t cry because you “lost another one! :( ”. I’m saying this from personal experience, so anyone that says something along the lines of “[citation needed]” wins a punch in the face.

Give it a bloody break. We have enough division in the human race as it is. Don’t make it worse.

That is all.

Introducing: Sapphire

13 Sep
2009

I’ve been irritated to death by the utter lack of capable music players. I mean, almost all of them out there lack in one area or the other, and they tend to annoy the hell out of me. Hitherto, I’ve only liked 2 music players – MPD and Songbird. They organize things effeciently, they work well. In particular, though, when it comes to mpd clients, it’s ncmpcpp that stands out. Yet I feel there’s just something that isn’t quite right with either of them. Yes, I’m weird that way. So, I set out to do what any decent person would do if existing implementations didn’t work for them: make my own. Therefore, I commence project Sapphire, an MPD client in either Qt or GTK. I will decide which after I actually manage to get off my lazy ass and start coding it. I already have a very, very little implementation of an mpd client which spans 6 lines, and I’ll probably build up from that.

Suggestions are welcome; comments about how retarded this is are not, because I already know it is.

Swine flu!

11 Sep
2009
I coughed like 5 times just now, but you totally didnt hear me. Hey, look, I JUST SNEEZED.

I coughed like 5 times just now, but you totally didn't hear me. Hey, look, I JUST SNEEZED.

This is all getting completely out of hand. It’s retarded on a multitude of levels, and people are still giving into the whole “swine flu” drama. Seriously, people, it’s the bloody flu that we got from pigs; what’s the big deal? It’s no more dangerous than the normal flu, and I’m sick of people acting like it is.

It’s not fatal unless you have breathing issues or are immuno-compromised, in which case even the normal flu could kill you. The media needs to find something else to talk about, because they clearly don’t understand half of what they’re saying at the moment. When I tell people that swine flu isn’t even remotely dangerous, except for some minor discomforts like a fever and a terrible cold, the only reply I get is “Have you read the newspapers? It’s killing people!!” <- your point is? More people die from the common goddamned cold everyday, maybe even 10x those are killed in road traffic accidents everyday. You don’t see Reuters reporting that shit, so you refuse to acknowledge it. Seriously, people die and babies are born. We can save people from dying, but maybe we should concentrate on the bigger killers first and make cars safer or something, right?

It’s irritating when half the people I know talk about swine flu just to sound smart, and end up looking like utter idiots in the end. As I’ve mentioned previously, I blame only, and only the media for elevating the hype to the level it’s at today. “But H1N1 is fatal!!” it’s the goddamned flu, people; just a mutated strain that’s slightly less susceptible to current diagnoses. It’ll go away in a week or so. I’m pretty sure I have the swine flu, but am I giving a shit about it? No I’m not, because I don’t care! Neither should you.

I’ve had a really bad fever the past couple of days, and even skipped school because of it. I’m obviously overjoyed by this, but I don’t understand why the government has ordered two months of quarantine for kindergarten kids. My brother was supposed to go back to school on the 1st of September. It’s been postponed to the 29th of November. I’m trying very hard to comprehend this level of sheer failure, but it’s overwhelming me. May the pigs save us.

Me? Coding a blog engine?

4 Sep
2009

That’s right. Whenever I have the free time, I’m going to code a blog engine for the fun of it. It won’t be as awesome as Wordpress is, but it’ll help keep my mind off school on the weekends. Yes, I know Wordpress is better and that my blog will look like crap if it uses my own engine, but I didn’t say I was going to.

I’m probably going to use Catalyst or RoR, mostly because I’ve coded CGI a lot, and hate it with a burning passion. Frameworks make it lot easier to implement an app with databasing, anyways, so I’ll just use either of those.

There’s another reason as to why I’m doing this, and that’s to sort of get better at web dev. Anyone that knows me will agree that I can’t code websites to save my ass, because I possess no design skill whatsoever. Anyways, I’m going to make a mockup of how it’s going to look, so goodbye for now.

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